Rejection Sensitivity and ADHD During the Festive Season💔

While the holiday season is a joyful time for many, it can also bring up feelings of anxiousness, self-doubt, and loneliness for others. Social gatherings, family dynamics, and heightened expectations can magnify emotions, making this time of year particularly tricky for some—especially for those living with ADHD.

This week, three of my clients have shared how rejection sensitivity (RS) has shown up for them, and their experiences highlight just how impactful this often-overlooked ADHD symptom can be.

💡 What Is Rejection Sensitivity?

Rejection Sensitivity is an intense emotional reaction to real or perceived rejection or criticism. For people with ADHD, this isn’t about being “overly sensitive”—it’s a common and often misunderstood part of how our brains are wired.

🌟 Why Is It So Common in ADHD?

The ADHD brain operates in overdrive, navigating a world designed for neurotypical minds. Years of missteps, misunderstood intentions, and negative feedback can create a heightened sensitivity to rejection. This isn’t a choice; it’s a hardwired response, often amplified during times of stress or heightened social expectations, like the festive season.

🛑 How It Shows Up: A Client’s Story

One of my clients, a professional woman who recently moved to a new city for work, experienced RS in a powerful way this week.

She reached out to an old university colleague whose name she noticed on the list of attendees of an upcoming conference she had signed up for. Hoping to reconnect, she texted the colleague, but didn’t hear back for two days. In the meantime, her inner critic went into overdrive:

• “Why didn't I just wait until I saw her instead of texting?”
• “She probably won't even remember me”
• “She will think I am over the top and too keen”

These thoughts became so overwhelming that she skipped an entire day of the conference, feeling paralysed by self-doubt.

Two days later, she received a message from that same colleague:
“Are you at the conference? I can't find you. I would love to catch up!”

As it turned out, the colleague, who had also received a late ADHD diagnosis, shared her own struggles with returning messages.

The lesson? What feels like rejection is often not personal. But in the moment, RS can feel overwhelming and deeply painful.

🎁 Two Ideas to Help During the Festive Season:

1️⃣ Pause and Challenge Your Thoughts: When rejection sensitivity kicks in, take a moment to ask yourself:

• Could there be another explanation for this situation?
• Am I making assumptions without evidence?
  Grounding yourself in curiosity rather than judgment can create emotional breathing room.

2️⃣ Lean Into Self-Compassion: Write down positive affirmations or reflect on moments when you’ve felt loved and valued. Remind yourself that rejection doesn’t define your worth, and often, it’s not rejection at all.

🤍 You Are Not Alone

If the festive season feels heavy for you, know this: You are not alone, and your feelings are valid. The pressure to be joyful, coupled with the weight of RS, can be overwhelming—but you are seen, heard, and supported.

Let’s approach this time with kindness—for ourselves and each other. Whether it’s family gatherings, holiday commitments, or a simple unanswered text, know that you’re navigating this as best you can. 💛

Have you experienced rejection sensitivity or found strategies that work for you? Let’s start a conversation and create a safe space for understanding and connection.

Until next week, sending love and understanding,

Caroline x