The Cognition Conundrum: Facing Focus, Forgetfulness, and Finding Answers.

I had the best weekend in Melbourne last weekend, celebrating one of my oldest and dearest friend's 50th birthday milestone. There is truly something extraordinary about a friendship that has spanned almost forty years. Experiencing all of the big feelings of first loves and heartbreak, getting caught smoking ciggis and eating the tequila worm in the top paddock, losing loved ones and navigating parenting...all the moments that make our lives deeply connected in a sibling-like way. If you are lucky enough to have a friendship like this, you will get what I'm talking about. So, after a night full of festivities and dancing until the wee hours, I boarded my flight back to Sydney, looking forward to reading my book and maybe having a microsleep. The lovely lady (let's call her Peg) sitting next to me had other plans, and when she asked me what I did for work, I did my usual "oh, you probably have not heard much about it, but I am an ADHD & Executive Coach". I am so glad Peg was in a chatty mood because our conversation that followed led me to think more about Peg's experience and inspired this blog post.

With generosity and vulnerability, Peg shared with me that at 70 years old, she had received a life-changing diagnosis: inattentive ADHD (previously called ADD). Growing up in a family of academics, she had always felt like the odd one out—unable to stick to tasks and hobbies, often distracted, and struggling to finish most things that she started. Despite a deep passion for creative writing, Peg never fully pursued her dream because she couldn’t focus long enough to see it through. It wasn’t until later in life, after years of wondering, "What’s wrong with me?" that she finally had an answer. And now, with the right support, she’s working on her first novel, fulfilling a lifelong dream she thought she’d missed out on. 

But Peg's experience is not unique. More and more professional women, especially those in their late 30s and older, are experiencing similar shifts in their cognition—memory issues, difficulty focusing, feeling overwhelmed by multi-tasking, and second-guessing their decisions. You may have found yourself thinking, “What is going on with me?” Or perhaps even wondering if you should be assessed for ADHD or worry about something more serious, like early/young-onset dementia. Don't worry; you would be surprised at how often women bring up these questions in our conversations together. 

What’s Behind These Cognitive Changes?

It’s easy to feel like life is simply becoming more demanding. After all, juggling a career, family, fitting into social settings, and everything in between is no small task. But many women don't realise that hormonal changes—specifically those associated with perimenopause and menopause—can play a significant role in executive dysfunction. These hormonal shifts impact your brain’s ability to manage time, focus, memory, and decision-making, leading to changes in how you perform tasks and handle the challenges of normal, daily life.

Is It ADHD, Dementia, or Something Else?

If you’re asking yourself, “Do I need to get assessed for ADHD?” you’re not alone. Many women are now exploring whether their ongoing struggles with focus, memory, organisation, and emotional dysregulation could be signs of undiagnosed ADHD. While it’s possible that ADHD has flown under the radar for years, it’s equally important to understand the broader context. Hormonal shifts, particularly during perimenopause, can mimic the symptoms of ADHD or other cognitive disorders, like early-onset dementia.

Rather than immediately assuming the worst, it’s crucial to look at the bigger picture. Hormonal fluctuations often cause changes to executive functioning that can feel overwhelming. Understanding this connection can be the first step toward addressing these challenges with the right strategies, support, or treatment.

Moving Forward with Clarity

Like Peg, who, at 70 years of age, finally uncovered the reason behind her lifelong struggles, many of us are only just discovering the role that ADHD, hormones, and other factors play in our cognition. If you’ve been feeling off-balance, distracted, or overwhelmed, take a moment to reflect on what might truly be happening behind the scenes. Hormonal changes could be the missing piece in your puzzle. Let’s shift the narrative from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What do I need to understand about myself?” 

Whether it’s ADHD, hormonal changes, or the natural demands of life, the important thing is to explore these questions with curiosity and self-compassion. And just like Peg, it’s never too late to rewrite your story.

Until next time,